Its been a long time since I have written. Things are good lately, my attitude is more positive. I still miss my grandma but I know she wont want me to grieve in sadness forever, i still greive but I try to think of all the happiness and all of the converesations that we had. I replay those conversations when I am falling asleep, hearing her voice and praying that she visits me in my dreams. :)
We just passed our son Kyle Ethan's would have been 4th birthday. A 4 year old, I imagine him happy and running and playing on the jungle gym at the park. Dark eyes like his mom and tall and gangly like his dad. How happy we would all be as a family, our three kids. I try to imagine good times we would have so that it doesnt make me so sad that we never got any time with him at all. Very few people remember. At least that is how it feels. Our family never ask about him or talks about his birthday or his angelversary. It is like he only exists to us. But he did exist and i love him and miss him.
Our living children are doing great, very healthy(thank God) and happy. Autumn is now a Gillespie(officially-she always was) and we are living and just taking in every moment with our kids. It is amazing how fast they grow up and how they can melt your heart <3 Declan is getting big and becoming so independent. I cant believe we had him. I cant believe we made this beautiful little boy. I am so thankful for him and everyday remember that he is a blessing. I will never take him for granted. <3
Ok I am done. I better get back to the real world...Blogger Berna OUT. :)
