This is for the people who are
having a bad day and think they are having a bad life, you have the power to
change your future. I was a 17 year old high school senior. In an emotionally and physically abusive
relationship and got pregnant. I moved in and out of my families houses and
ended up living in a house at 8 months pregnant where they were selling drugs
and I was too ignorant and naïve to think any different. I sometimes didn’t have food to eat so I would
go to the neighbor’s house and take the oranges from their trees and eat those
for days at a time, because when you live with meth addicts, they don’t buy
food-they also do not pay for heat which was in December and I was freezing
most nights. I had my daughter a month early due to high stress and bad
situation. I swallowed my pride and moved back in with my parents. I was on
food stamps and monetary assistance from the state. After a year I got a full
time job, moved into my own place and still required food assistance and health
insurance from the state(welfare). I decided to keep moving even though the
abusive relationship continued. I moved to a job with the county of Lapaz in
2004, then to a job with the title agency 2005 I left my abuser after a final
police arrest and restraining order was required and in 2006 I moved to
Phoenix, 3 hours away from my family to a job with a county and making what I
thought was “BANK” at $14/hr. I went to school(never obtained a degree) but I
worked my way up. After 6 years I was making $36,000 a year which again I
thought was really great and for someone without a degree, it was a decent
wage.
After being a single mom for almost 3 years I met my husband at the end of 2005 and we wanted to
start a family. We got pregnant right away and at 6 months pregnant found out
our son had a severe fetal anomaly that was not compatible with life. Our son
died on July 15 2006 in my belly and full of love. So we trucked on through
depression and 2 years of infertility treatments to get pregnant and another
miscarriage we had our son July of 2010. Two months later my grandmother died,
she was my rock and like my mom(my mother is an alcoholic and doesn’t have the
emotional capacity to really be a mom for her kids). I was depressed and sad
and needed a change. I met my best friend online in a July pregnancy group and
after her son Wyatt passed away at 6 months old from a heart defect, I started
to visit her in Minnesota. Once I visited I wanted to move. I was on a mission.
My husband applied for jobs, I gave my notice at work and within a few months
we were in Minnesota and it was September of 2012. Again we wanted to expand
our family. We had our daughter Fiona on December 25 2013 and she was our
Christmas baby(named after grandma Joann who loved Christmas and Jesus). Again I wanted more, I had been home for over
a year and was ready to go back to work. I applied for a job with a city and lo
and behold I got it! Doing what I had been doing in Phoenix, more
administrative but for more money so I was happy. Within 6 months I knew I
wanted more, I wanted to become a Plans Examiner but was afraid, anxious and
doubtful of my skills/intelligence. A position opened up and I applied. After 3
interviews and a test I got the job!!! ME!!! The 17 yr old single mom with no
college degree who had been told “you ruined your life” “if you keep going like
this you won’t do anything with your life” “what kind of example will you be
for your child when you can’t even show up for class”( I graduated high school
6 months early btw). I was in a new position and making over $75,000 a year J
The reason I tell this story isn’t
because the money matters but the journey to get here has never been easy but
it has been worth it. Between all of these things we had more miscarriages,
marital strife, deaths in the family, we filed bankruptcy and paid a large
amount that put us in great debt for my husband to adopt our daughter. This is
for the people who are struggling or thinking that they can’t do it, aren’t
smart enough, don’t have enough help or have been told because they are young
single pregnant woman or just the struggling young parent, that they won’t be
able to do good for themselves or their children. It is possible. You can do it
and you don’t need anyone but yourself and your child to make something of your
life. The journey hurts and it is so hard and sometimes you wonder why are you
even here? Why are you given this hell to live in? But it won’t always be that
way if you push yourself to do your best even when it means moving 1500 miles
away from your family. Having them guilt you for leaving and making something
of your and your children’s lives. Do what is best for you and your child and
you will go places!!!!
